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Submitted on
November 21, 2012
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Frozen solid, her heart will not beat,
Summer over, arctic winds won’t retreat,
All warmth and light has fled,
And you won’t last long there,
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter,
A winter heart, all dead.

The snow falling your love a breeze,
You won’t last long, you'll just freeze
Icicles from the past  have froze her core,
Only warm hearts will change the season
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter
A winter heart, you've fallen for
Written by Roselyn Edwards
Status: Final Draft
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:icongrimasever:
GrimAsEver Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
I enjoyed this a bunch. ^^
Great work.
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:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
thank you so much :) I've been working on it for awhile now trying to get it perfect but i still feel likes it's choppy :(
Reply
:icongrimasever:
GrimAsEver Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
I think it is absolutely perfect, ma'am. c:
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
*Blushes thank you@
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:iconnosferatu4444:
nosferatu4444 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
pretty, makes me feel glowing inside:D
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:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Student Writer
really?! it's not stupid then?
Reply
:iconnosferatu4444:
nosferatu4444 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think so:)
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Lovely poetry...
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
thank you thank you a bunch for all the comments! :D
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Professional Writer
:iconmartiniplz: :iconwelcome1plz::iconwelcome2plz::iconwelcome3plz::iconwelcome4plz:
Reply
:icondompteurloup:
DompteurLoup Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Definitely fell for one of those this year...
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Writer
Yea? and how did that go for you?
Reply
:icondompteurloup:
DompteurLoup Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazingly horrid I'd have to say. haha Best 6 months I've ever spent with someone, and then the most difficult 4 moths directly after trying to resolve things
Reply
:iconmajicfrog:
majicfrog Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Not bad, but I find the use of "it" as an appositive unappealing here. Is there any reason for using the "it" after "heart" in several lines?
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks! for the tip I really appreciate the advice and I made actions to change it. Any better?
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:iconmajicfrog:
majicfrog Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
I think so. I'm not much of a poet but I believe that helps. Just seemed awkward to me. Anyway, overall it's a nice little poem. I'm usually not one for serious emotional poetry, but this one was pleasantly chilling (if you'll excuse the pun) and emotional. Not perfect, but you get the idea across nicely. :)
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
you were right :) thanks for catching that, and thank you so much for commenting and reading it!
Reply
:iconinoriyuzuriha-chan:
InoriYuzuriha-chan Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Artist
Beautiful
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks :) it really means a lot
Reply
:iconinoriyuzuriha-chan:
InoriYuzuriha-chan Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Artist
Your welcome.
Reply
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