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November 23, 2012
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I think, I feel
And sometimes it stinks,
When one thought goes ‘round
Like a little bug, Buzzing
Poking you, prickling you,
Biting you, snitching you
Doing a buggy parade ground
C’mon admit, it’s annoying…
You’ve failed, you’re not good enough
And you think this, I’m enjoying…
They’re better than you, you’re not enough
Soon you realize, the damage already done
You think, you feel, and then you hurt
And oh boy it ever hurts
Sometimes so much
You hope to evaporate
Into the mist on the slough


Again I think, I feel
Things happen so perfect
Like an aurora light
Piercing your soul, lifting your spirit
Once was drowning into a hole
Humming to you, Warming you
Drawing you out, Lifting you up
So high you feel you’re flying
Beyond the shroud, beyond the slough, beyond the vale
High up in a puffy cumulus cloud
So consumed by a feeling
You become it,
Just chillin’ out
High on cloud nine


‘round and ‘round your brain plays
Turning over new sod
Scattering up new seed
Thinking, feeling
Hurting, laughing
Being, nothing
But pure human
:iconroselynedwards:
Written by Roselyn Edwards
Status: Final Draft
Additional Notes: I know this one is different then my usual style, it's a bit more straight forward I think.
Anyways let me know what you think, I appreciate feedback either way good or bad.
If you don't like it let me know why so that I can learn and grow better.
Thanks I appreciate everything you'll do :)
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:icondragonschest:
=DragonsChest Nov 23, 2012  Professional Writer
Heartfelt and powerful... :hug:
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:iconroselynedwards:
*roselynedwards Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
I wasn't sure if it flowed, does it flow to you or is it like super choppy?
btw thanks for the comment means a lot :)
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:icondragonschest:
=DragonsChest Nov 24, 2012  Professional Writer
No, it wasn't choppy. When you have verses that are structured long and then short, it can appear choppy, but the proof is in the reading, and it reads fine... :aww:
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:iconroselynedwards:
Mood: Joy *roselynedwards Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
Good ! :) Thanks ! You're a big help
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