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TwistedEverything is so messed up
I’m so confused
I should be crying,
But instead I’m laughing
At my last breath.
When the world is backwards
I’m so confused
The sky is ground
The north is south
And I find myself swinging
From the cobblestones
And with dirty hands, walking
Gripping with knuckle bones
Why is it, turned all around
I’m so confused
Yes means no
Wrong is right
And I’m enthralled with hurting people
Destroying their souls
And living, but actually dead
And somehow hurt consoles
At this rate I’ll be
Falling down to heaven
Or flying up to hell
To really understand this world of opposition
When I try to call my friend
Turns out she’s the enemy
And when I think I’m singing
I’m actually really cursing
And all around me
They all just do the same
When normality's are no longer normality's
I’m so confused
When Beauty is ugly
And scars are lovely
Gets pretty hard to disgui
Dread to DareThere she cowers, in the cold heart of blackness,
Scratching claws, stupidity, on iron bars,
Despair only driving her to madness;
Her mind in torment, reminding ageless scars.
Pacing back and forth in her confinement,
She laments like an animal, trapped forever;
Tears grace her cheeks with bitterness not refinement;
She plotted her escape but they screamed, No never!
She’s done this to herself resignation no other
She’s signed up for torment, she’s signed up for hell!
Wandering from one restricting corner to another
Ragged, torn, and crawling filth; they swear, don’t tell.
Her ashen cheeks all sunken and hollow
Her hopes once dared to dance, locked down forever
And this is the hell, that was willed follow
Hope, her little friend, now tethered at the end
She wouldn’t give herself a chance, if honestly she did
She’d been freed not pathetic existing beast
In the depths of her beating chest tears protruded
A whisper for help her cumbersome li
Dying to be BeautifulDying to be beautiful
How far does it go
How deep can it get
How dark can it pull
When nothing holds you together
But layers of makeup on sunken cheeks
And your bones so frail they
Shatter from sobbing
Your heart so weak
You cannot risk loving
Your world so painful,
Through gray misty eyes
From the outline of ribs
To the protruding bone spines
I clearly see, you’re dying
Yes, dying to be beautiful
I wish somebody would tell you
The secret of beauty
It comes from the heart
The inside out
Not the outside in
But still how far will you go
How deep will you get
How dark will you go
Until you realize
Just to beautiful
I think, I feelI think, I feel
And sometimes it stinks,
When one thought goes ‘round
Like a little bug, Buzzing
Poking you, prickling you,
Biting you, snitching you
Doing a buggy parade ground
C’mon admit, it’s annoying…
You’ve failed, you’re not good enough
And you think this, I’m enjoying…
They’re better than you, you’re not enough
Soon you realize, the damage already done
You think, you feel, and then you hurt
And oh boy it ever hurts
Sometimes so much
You hope to evaporate
Into the mist on the slough
Again I think, I feel
Things happen so perfect
Like an aurora light
Piercing your soul, lifting your spirit
Once was drowning into a hole
Humming to you, Warming you
Drawing you out, Lifting you up
So high you feel you’re flying
Beyond the shroud, beyond the slough, beyond the vale
High up in a puffy cumulus cloud
So consumed by a feeling
You become it,
Just chillin’ out
High on cloud nine
‘round and ‘round your bra
LionessShe’s not a weakling
Nor a coward
No broken heart
Not even soured
She’s a Lioness
Sure footed, powerful
She walks as queen
Despite dismantled face
A mark unforeseen
Experience, commands respect
She’s a Lioness
Wild and free, says don’t mess with me
She’s not a killer
Nor a flower
Her stride, it’s a thriller
Like an action film
She’s a Lioness
Keeping you all on the tips of your toes
The mighty Lioness
You’re comfortable with her
She makes you feel safe
She stands mind tall as a balsamic fir
She looks out for the great and the small
She’s a lioness
So beautiful and most strong of all
She’s not afraid to fight
Nor afraid to stand down
And if you’re lost and out of her sight
She’ll stop what she’s doing make sure you’re alright
She’s a Lioness
Brave and graceful over the safari of life
The Lioness in the midst of strife
New EndingSettles in a comfy nest
Blankets, pillows, against the chest
A warming lamp sets on the stand
Juicy tale carried in hand
Into a mangled binding
The mind for adventure finding
Within the crisp pages close friends
Suffering their sorrowed ends
Within the ruffled pages
Foes live on into the ages
And for the lovers nothing goes right,
The back cover slams down tight
The lamp light softens the blow
Between the pages the tears flow
No person could sense this unrest
Nor settle this frail heart's distress
This can't be the end of ends
Not satisfied, reader contends
Write a new end, one that might care
One not real, but one that's fair
Winter HeartFrozen solid, her heart will not beat,
Summer over, arctic winds won’t retreat,
All warmth and light has fled,
And you won’t last long there,
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter,
A winter heart, all dead.
The snow falling your love a breeze,
You won’t last long, you'll just freeze
Icicles from the past have froze her core,
Only warm hearts will change the season
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter
A winter heart, you've fallen for
ConformityI’m here in my head
Existing amongst the dead
Life is being taken
Things are mistaken
It seems people run voluntarily to misery
As though pretending, the nonexistence of history
All eyes seem jaded, or intensely blind
A wonder to them how the world will unwind
Continue to watch them, try and stop them
Pull them away by the strings of their hem
Try to save them, but you’ll be the ignorant fool
Sincerely they believe you’re the devil’s tool
They cannot see how the devil masquerades
Conning to enlist them in his festering charades
To fight against the right
To fight against the light
To fight against our joy
By playing with humanity like it’s a toy
To listen and be reconditioned
With a baby spoon fed each bite
Spoon by spoon, evidentially knowing, no right
The appetizer, conformity
The Desert, uniformity
Just prisoners of the original
Life of the adaptional
Code word for mundane
Of people trapped in the conformity chain
MakeupBrush on and disguise, girls
Makeup, brush, and sponge in hand
To paint a face we can stand
One allowing control and demand
Mascara, owing lovely lashes
Curled, long, blackened power
Batting they'll gladly give stashes
Monetary control, until we turn sour
Eyeliner, our trusty friend
Imparting perfection, edge, and smart
Sculpting our eyes to a wonderful blend
Drawing stares this well developed art
Foundation, turn our face a glowing light
To smooth discomfort, and deliver our plight
Oh blush, rose offer from the garden
Turn our face all joy and pardon
Oh eye shadow the mystery and serenity
The shadows behind discretion
The serenity in complexion
Giving us depth and enmity
Oh lipstick we'll not get disgraced
Our power to say no
And speak with confidence and taste
Bestowing charm and words to and fro
What guy would live with out
The features, our friend brings
Perhaps, a guy entirely devout
In experience, they want girls with wings
After all, who enjoys imperfection
Never really can fix a heart...I've already hurt because of you
I would never walk through hell for you
I would let you burn, in the fiery pits of despair and guilt
After all you've made me suffer for
Was it worth your love?
After all this time, what have I gained?
I've gained 30 more scars
And the breaking of my fragile heart.
I've lost my self esteem,
I've lost more than I ever gave you
I gave you that heart of mine
Do you remember?
The one that was beautifully scarred,
The one that had a wooden sign reading "FRAGILE",
I bet you've just forgotten
That that is the heart you almost destroyed
It's no longer whole, it has lost its function
Can't feel, I won't let it. Neither will I trust.
Broken into pieces, of which you lost most of
Three tiny pieces I've found
I'm still trying to fix,
But the pieces will never fit
Cause you never really can fix a heart...
When Tears Don't FallI may slit my wrists and count to ten,
Might laugh it off and cut again,
May color pages black and red,
May fantasize about you dead,
May bite my thumb until it bleeds,
Might lie about it 'tween my teeth,
May pretend it just isn't there,
Might claw and bite, snarl and glare.
I'll take the slap, won't even ask why.
But I swear to God, I will not cry.
It Is (Depression)It is a shroud of black velvet.
It is the violent ocean in the dead of night.
It is the monster in the shadows; the Vashta Nerada.
It is the final crash of symbols in Carmina Burana.
It is impossible to lift.
it is impossible to breathe.
It is impossible to see.
It is the only thing that can be heard.
It is why the stars disappear at night.
It is why every light drifts by without stopping.
It is why the gnawing starts and never ceases.
It is why nothing else matters in the end.
It is my disease.
It is my disability.
It is my misfortune.
It is my death sentence.
AloneI'm not strong. I'm not brave.
I'm weak. I'm a coward.
Dont tell me I'm wrong
I know I'm not.
I'm really not OK. I cant pretend
I cant hide anymore
Its all too much
I'm crashing down hard.
I cant do it anymore
Its gotten to hard
Its gone too far
Cant you see?
Drowning TearsVerse 1
It’s so hopeless and I’m scared
The light just rushes right past me
Like a whirlwind of despair
I hear a wolf cry, alone in the night
The wolf creeps by, gently whispers in my ear
I shiver, a cloud, with doubt slamming in my face
Why do I feel so ensnared …?
My heart is pounding in my chest
Is it just a dream?
I can’t seem to do the right thing
My whole body rebels
I see the right choice, why can’t I make it?
Something’s got me by the neck
Please take the fear away …
Surrounded by love
How am I ignored?
Blood is flowing down my face,
I feel sick, as I’m knocked to the ground
He tears out my soul
Ripping it to nothing but shreds
I can’t see the light …
On the cold floor, my heart keeps pounding
I wish it would stop
Cause I can’t forgive
The moon slips out of reach
Why does he keep watching?
I just want to run away from here
Oh, why is it so cold …?
I can’t live on
[transmissions of a dead girl]i am the
moon: i am
the silver pill
to weigh down
into leaden eyes--
i am the
of the dark.
the stars are
all dead in their
you'll be safe, dear,
as i am the moon,
with all of your
(i am good bye and yet,
you think only of romantic
i am the moon.
i am the crescent
and dead altogether,
i still die.
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