Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconroselynedwards: More from roselynedwards


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
April 10, 2012
File Size
475 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,989 (5 today)
Favourites
126 (who?)
Comments
67
Downloads
23
×
Behind this mask
Is the real
Not the fake

Behind this mask
Hides the ugly
And the hate

Behind this mask
Not a smile
Nor a laugh

Behind this mask
No charming word
No loving act

Behind this mask
A hurting soul
All tears flow

Behind this mask
Sometimes
We all go
Literature type: Free Verse
Status: Rough Draft
Poem Written by: © Roselyn Edwards

Does it flow? Is it to short? What do you think? All opinions will be greatly appreciated and properly rewarded :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsupergirlswag:
SuperGirlSwag Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Oh how much I love Mask related poems! Amazing!
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student Writer
hahah me too!! Anything to do with masks is just awesome I like mysterious conceptual photos with masks
Reply
:iconsquibblyquill:
squibblyquill Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2012
It flows and the flow might work a touch differently with "All tears flow" instead of "all tears do flow"
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you excellent advice!! :) You deserve credit:)
Reply
:iconsquibblyquill:
squibblyquill Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2012
aw that's nice of you to say! Keep up the great work. :D
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
Reply
:iconzucus:
Zucus Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
the picture and the poem is beutiful i love it
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you unfortunately the picture isn't my work but the work of a another amazing artist :) I did write the poem and i'm glad you like it! :)
Reply
:iconmokira:
mokira Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012
beautiful drawing, beautiful poem, although, I must disagree with these lines:

"Behind this mask
Is the real
Not the fake".

because all our masks are the most realest things in our personalities (very often, you are wearing them and changing them unconsciously). and that's who human really is. that's why human is so inspiring, intriguing and beautiful.

sorry, my English is poor, but I know that You'll understand what I meant.
Reply
:iconroselynedwards:
roselynedwards Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Student Writer
Excellent point you make! I guess it's a matter of opinion you are describing the mask as being exquisite while my poem is looking rather at the less remarkable things of not being a person who is open.
Behind the mask is essentially talking about a person who is afraid to be show their true self and fears that vulnerable state I think this fear is dealt with by many people at different levels.

Anyways, two different views. I encourage you to write something expressing yours it would be great !
You're english was fine i understood :)
Reply
Add a Comment: